Like many of you, I grew up singing the popular childrens song, "Jesus Loves Me". Even though I sang the sung hundreds of times, somehow the words never made it from my head to my heart.
But, over the last 15 years, Jesus began to romance me and soften this heart of mine that had not known or understood what it really felt like to be loved by Him. The truth is, He was probably romancing me long before this, but I was unaware of His moving in my life.
Just this past year I was at a womens day of meditative worship, and I received as a gift a small scroll tied with a gold bow. We were told that the messages on the scroll were prayed over by the ones who picked them, and to receive it as a message that Jesus had for us that day. As I unrolled my scroll, my eyes quickly took in the words, and I was undone. My scroll read:
"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
You have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace". Song of Songs 4:9
Trying to keep it together as best I could, I quickly found a spot in the corner of the room and for the next hour I let the tears flow as the realization of His heart and intense love for me washed over me like a warm spring rain.
You see, one of the earliest wounds that the enemy inflicted on me was that of not being pursued or not being chosen. Then, over the years, he kept reinforcing the lie through people and circumstances.
In my relationship with Jesus, my theology taught me that He was the one who sought me, but my heart always felt like I was the one who had pursued Him. Because of my woundedness and unbelief in this area, there was a veil over my heart that kept me from experiencing and receiving His love.
But little by little, His jealous love for me began to break through the protective covering around my heart. As my heart began to open enough to let Him in, I began to experience even more His personal, intimate ways of pursuing and revealing His love for me.
I love the words to "How He Loves" by John Mark McMillan:
"He is our portion and we are His prize,
drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking.
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest..."
I don't know about you, but the thought that I am His prize is hard to wrap my mind around. But that day when I read the words on the scroll, "You have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes", I felt that I got a glimpse into the heart of Jesus, and I too, was drawn by the grace in His eyes. Wow! He loves me so much!
I love going into the day knowing that at any moment I could receive a "God kiss"! I don't believe He is stingy with His affection, but I believe that our hearts are often so steeped in hurt and unbelief that we fail to see or experience His attempts to touch us in a personal and loving way.
Thank you Jesus for your persistent, fierce, and lavish love! Thank You that You hold the keys to even the most resistant of hearts.
"Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
Rivers cannot wash it away.
-Song of Songs 8:6-7
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