I was an "Are Not"

There are seasons in our lives when we seem to trudge along in monotony and then there are moments when God breaks through and speaks to us and we are never the same. Such a day happened for me in 1995. I was in turmoil inside struggling to find my identity. I had just come through a season where God had allowed areas that were "false identities" for me to be taken away. It was such a painful process because I could not understand what the Father was doing. You see, the things He took away were good things, but He knew that they weren't the best. I was getting my need for approval met through the things that I did, and He loved me too much to let me continue on that path that led to frustration and heartache.

I attended the Toronto outpouring in that same year and God began to touch me and shake off the old and lavishly refresh me with His Spirit. I was undone and could not seem to get enough of His presence. This was all so new to me and a whole new world had opened up to me as I learned what it was to experience His manifest presence.


Following our trip to Toronto, many of us would gather at our church during lunch time just to pray, worship, and continue to seek Him. One day during an unusually intense time of experiencing His presence, a woman whom I had never seen before or since, walked up to me and prophesied over me, "The Father is going to began to speak to you and the words He gives you will be like meat that you will be able to chew on for a long time."

After hearing those words I knew that something had been deposited in me. It was just two weeks later that I heard Him speak clearly to me in a way that I had not heard Him before. I was at home, cleaning my house, and I heard Him say, "You are an 'are not'."

I can not explain it, and I still don't understand it, but those words so staggered me that I had to look for a place to sit down. Please understand, I was not use to hearing God speak to me. I had been a believer for a long time, and spent time with God and followed Him the best I knew how, but I had not come into a place where I could confidently say that I knew how to hear Him. And even though the words "are not" should not have meant much to me....they did. You see, an "are not" is exactly what I felt like. If I were looking in a mirror, I would have said, "You are not smart, you are not talented, you are not strong, you are not pretty,etc"....and the list would go on and on.

You see, God knew exactly how I saw myself and He spoke right into the most vulnerable part of my heart. He then took me to I Cor. 1:27-29, "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things and the things that are not- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him."

Right then and there I knew for the first time in my life that He had created me exactly the way that He wanted me to be and it was for His purpose. I knew that I was chosen and that He loved the fact that I was an "are not"! He loves using those who are "are nots" because He is glorified through our weakness.

God is so amazing in that He can take two little words and breathe life on them and change a person on the inside.

While I was still basking in the sweetness of these words, just two weeks later I awoke one morning hearing Him speak clearly to me again. This time He said, "You are my workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which I prepared in advance for you to do." Eph. 2:10.

Again, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and humbled that He was speaking these words to me. You see, a father imparts identity to his children and mine had not done that for me. I was so grateful for my Daddy God who was choosing to reveal His heart for me so that I could know my true identity.

Two weeks after that again He spoke to me from Psalm 1 and said that "I would be like a tree planted by streams of water, yielding its fruit in season, my leaf would not wither, and everything I would do would prosper."(Ps. 1:3)

The Father's words over us are priceless and are to be treasured, meditated over, and prayed through until they become our true identity. I have learned since this time that the Father loves choosing "are nots", those who believe that they have nothing to give, and speaking words of life and destiny to them in such a way that their world is turned upside down. He does this "so that no one may boast before Him". In other words, it is so obvious that it is a work of His doing, that we would be foolish to try and take the credit for what He has obviously done.

One of my greatest joys now is to hear the Father speak identity over others, especially those who see themselves as "are nots",and prophesy and partner with Him in imparting that to them. I can not easily forget what He did for me and it is His heart that all His children walk in the full measure of His love, approval and destiny for their lives.